Over the years, there is one observation that I have made about myself ...
The power of concentrating on one particular thing has gradually reduced over the years ..
When in school this concentration power was at its peak .. then slowly it dwindled ..
During my college days , there was not a single, constructive activity that I used to do alone .. Be it studying, my dance rehearsals, singing or anything for that matter there were always people around me, so the power of focus was still on..
Probabaly because I got used to doing things as a group i lost this power when I ventured to do anything alone..
After I came to work, the first year was pretty good.. I used to define my activities clearly and since I found my work very challenging , I stayed quite focused. From the next year onwards, I noticed that I was getting slow at work .. so I started jotting down the activity plan everyday.. This didnt help much. firstly, I would spend most of the time making plan and verifying if I am on track, than doing the work .. Secondly the no. of activities would be so much that I would multi-task many things and not do anything concrete,..
While at work, i would start googling about dance themes, dancers in india, music , movies, swimming classes, keyboard classes, tennis classes, books, lyrics of fav songs, listen to music, english word meanings to name a few.... then would go for long tea breaks, lunch breaks; check my attendance, m,y payslip, my old archived mails, read other's blog, mail to friends/cousins, csee photos.videos etc.. so i would get totally get distracted from the main stream work and end up staying late
One more thing that i have started doing very often these days is think about the past .. about my college life, life at mysore, life at blore, life at US , my previous assignments at work, my wedding, honeymoon, life in mumbai etc etc..
My thoughts are more on past and less on future/present ... Even if I think about future, I get some negative thoughts ,, something that I hate,,
Somehow these symtoms seem to indicate that am growing old .. I have always wanted to have a young mind though..
Dancing is one exception to this case. during my dance rehearsals i stay very focused .. i forget everything else. i guess i should be doing more of dancing to alleviate this growing-old-syndrome....
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